Pieces of Earth
by The Uncreative
Summary: Louise tries her hand at the familiar summoning ritual and fails so miserably that she somehow winds up on Earth. Well, accidents happen, right?
1. Arrival at Zero Hour Part 1

**Author Notes:**

I'm going to be honest with you all, I have no idea what I'm doing with this story, and I absolutely love that. I know the basic premise and a bit of the plot, but I have no idea what to with any of it. I'm so excited to see where this story goes, I'm going to have sooooo much fun with this story.

Anyway, basic plot so far: Louise failed at the familiar summoning ritual so hard that she wound up sending herself to Earth. That alone has a lot of potential for some pretty clever ideas involving Louise having to adjust to earth. They'll definitely be quite a bit of that in the story, don't worry. That's only a subplot, the actual plot won't kick in for a bit longer. At least, I think we have an actual plot, I need to work on that some more.

Anyway, I'll end these author notes by saying that this story will start a little slow, but don't worry. The plot will definitely kick in a little later, and I can't wait until we get to that point. See you next time.

**Arrival at Zero Hour Part 1**

"Ah, what a nice day out," I say as I stand up and stretch a little bit. "Well, better get ready! I've got a lot of stuff to start taking care of."

I head to the bathroom and start the old morning routine. A quick shower and overall freshening up makes even the worst of mornings seem a lot better. After running through it a few times with a brush, I tie my silver hair up in a ponytail that goes a little bit past my shoulders. I look in the mirror and examine my face a little. Hmmm, red eyes stand out a bit, don't they? Maybe I should get glasses so people don't pay as much attention. I don't know, I'm sure this is fine.

After my business in the bathroom is done I head out and get dressed. I'm not particularly fashion-conscious, so I settle on a white t-shirt and jeans. I'm not going out today to impress anyone so I don't care at all how I look.

"Okay, ready for work! See you around!" I yell into the house. I don't know why I do that, I live alone. Force of habit I suppose. I haven't been living alone for that long, so I suppose it's just a habit I won't be ridding myself of anytime soon.

"All right, there's a few places to start the search in," I say. "There's a park nearby, people always find all sorts of weird knick knacks at parks, right? Seems as good a place as any to start. I suppose I can start there."

I pull a pocket watch out of my pocket, big surprise, and check the time. It's 8:00 am now. I'll check around the park until 11:00, then I'll move somewhere else. They're not going to come to me, I need to actually find them, so standing in one place won't help me. I put the watch back in my pocket and head for the park.

"Hmm, I just thought of something," I say to myself. "I don't presently possess anything that'll help me track that stuff down. Hmmm. Well, I'll wing it. You only need to find one, everything falls into place after that."

Once I reach the park I start looking everywhere. I may know what I'm looking for, but I don't know where it'll show up. It could be in a tree, it could be in a bush, it could be in someone's pocket. It might be a tad difficult if it winds up in that last place. I can't just go around sneaking through people's pockets, they'd notice and get upset. Once I learn how to properly stop time we can start talking about pickpocketing. Until then, I have to search and hope no one's found one already. That would be a huge problem. Like, really, really, impossible to say how awful it would be. World endingly awful. Meteors fall, everyone dies kind of awful. Despite what anyone may be thinking, I'm not exaggerating. Probably. I dunno, I'm not very savvy, I have a hard time knowing when I'm exaggerating. I just kind of say things and hope they're true. More often than not, I am saying something true, and that's good. I'd hate to create trust issues because I have no idea that I'm just a chronic liar. That'd be awful. You can't just go around telling people you're a horrible liar and that you do it unknowingly, no one would believe you! You tell someone you're a liar and they stop trusting you! I don't get it. I just said, with all honesty, that I'm a liar and I'm sorry for being a liar and then they just go "Oh, you're a liar, I can't trust you." Sir or Madam! I just begged for some semblance of forgiveness and you spit on my face! Awful, just awful. Apparently you can't just assume that someone's telling you the truth, they're just always liars. Makes no sense to me.

"Stupid thing! Give me a drink already!" I hear someone yelling off to the side. I let myself fall off of the branch I was hanging off of and land on the ground. Oh, looks like some pink haired girl is kicking a vending machine. Why? I decide to investigate and head over the scene of the disturbance. The girl kicks the machine a few more times, than stops and starts panting. It seems she tired herself out. She pulls a stick out of her pocket and points it at the machine. She looks like she's about to cast some kind of spell of something, but decides it's not worth it and puts the stick in her pocket. The girl finally notices me and gives me a fierce glare. "And who are you supposed to be?"

"I'm a chronic liar, but I don't do it on purpose, so please trust me!" I say.

"… What?" she seems confused.

"Wait, dang it!" I say. "Sorry, I confused myself with my own tangent. I'm Alex. You are?"

"My name is Louise Francoise le Blanc de la Valliere," the pink girl says, puffing her chest out and attempting to give off some air of superiority. Why exactly is she trying to be superior? Is it because she's short and flat? I think I heard somewhere that girls try to overcompensate for small breasts. Why would that be? I don't quite see why girls are always so intent on the battle of "big breasts vs. flat chests." I suppose men are the same way with their constant overcompensating and stuff, but that makes just as little sense to me. I mean-

"Hey, what's with you?" Louise asks me. "You spaced out."

"So why do girls always feel insecure about the bust size?" I ask on reflex. That question earns me a good hearty slap.

"You pervert!" Louise yells at me.

"I'm sorry, my thoughts and speech don't have a filter and I was wondering why you were trying to be all haughty and superior and all that and I figured it was connected to some feeling of insecurity and-"

"I am not insecure in the slightest!" Louise yells at me. "I am the third daughter of the Valliere family! I am noble, so naturally I should be able to hold my head above commoners like you!"

"Don't '?' me!" Louise says. "Don't tell me everyone in this town is really that stupid. I swear, how do you just forget about something as important as the distinction between nobility and commoners?"

"Well after a few hundred years without that kind of thing it naturally sort of drifts from people's minds," I say.

"Don't speak such nonsense," Louise says.

"Alright, I'll admit, I don't know if it was hundreds of years ago, it could have been tens of years ago for all I know, but I don't really think that makes it qualify as nonsense."

"Not the timeframe, the things you said in general," Louise says. "Nobility can't simply disappear. It's a long and storied part of Halkegnian history that goes back to our founder Brimir six thousand years ago."

"No it doesn't," I say.

"Of course it does!" Louise yells at me. "Founder, first I fail my familiar summoning ritual, then I'm here in this stupid backwoods town with its stupid metal carriages, and its stupid unmanned, inaccessible drink shops and it's plethora of complete idiots! AAAAAAAHHH what did I do to deserve this kind of day?!"

Sounds like this poor strawberry's had a rough day. I can't say I don't sympathize, I imagine it's very hard being a strawberry. All you do is just sit around growing and being under appreciated until someone comes by, plucks you from your home and throws you on someone's dinner plate. It can't be a very easy life. I sympathize, little strawberry, I truly do.

The little strawberry pulls something out of her pocket and throws the fiercest and deadliest glare I've ever seen at it.

"Stupid good luck charm!" she yells at it. "What good luck you've given me. Hah!"

She throws whatever she was holding with all her might. Considering how small she is, that doesn't mean much, and the object bounces off of the glass of the vending machine. The object hits the ground and when I finally get a good look at it my eyes widen. That's-

"Aw, yelling won't solve anything," Louise says, picking the good luck charm up and putting it back in her pocket. "For now I need to find someone who's not an idiot to tell me where I am."

"H-hey, Strawberry," I call out.

"I told you, my name is Louise!" she yells at me.

"What were you doing at this vending machine, out of curiosity?" I ask.

"Someone from a local tavern told me that this was where I could get cheap drinks, but clearly he was lying!" Louise says, directing her anger at the poor metal box. "Nothing but a box of weird looking containers."

"Have you really never seen a vending machine before?" I ask.

"A what?" she asks.

"Vending machine, a machine that, you know, vends and stuff," I tell her. "Pretty sure that's why they're called vending machines, because they vend."

"Is that what this thing is called?" she asks, sizing up the vending machine.

"… Want me to buy you a drink?" I ask.

"I don't need a commoner like you showing pity to a noble," Louise says, crossing her arms and turning her head to the side so she doesn't have to look at me.

"You like strawberries?" I ask. "Looks like they've got some strawberry milk if you want it. I hear it's pretty good."

"I don't need your charity," she says, still not looking at me.

Unfortunately for her, I've decided to ignore all comments she makes in that nature and I've already inserted a few spare coins and gotten the vending machine to pay out with a bottle of strawberry milk. I've never had strawberry milk, though I hear it's pretty good. People of the world fall onto a spectrum, from what I've noticed. On the left you've got those who drink their milk plain and on the right you've got those who drink chocolate milk. Strawberry milk is the nice middle ground, from what I've noticed. It's something everyone can enjoy. I retrieve the glorious bottle from the machine's withdrawal spot and hold it out for Louise to grab. Considering she's not looking at me, she hasn't noticed it yet. I move a little closer, hoping she'll notice and grab it. Hmm, she's still ignoring me. I move close and touch the bottle to her cheek. She's still not moving. Oh my god, does she not have an feeling in her cheek?! Can she not feel the bottle pressed to her face?! Oh my god, Louise I'm so sorry! I didn't know you were in such a place where your whole nervous system was compromised! I'm sorry for doing something like this and bringing it up! I'm-

"F-fine," Louise says. "I'll accept the gift, but only this time!"

She grabs the bottle from my grasp after finishing the sentence. Oh thank god, she's fine. She was just being rude and ignoring me. Louise fiddles with the lid of the bottle, but can't get it open. I take the bottle, open it up and hand it back to her. She mutters something that may be a thank you and starts drinking. Considering how fast she's emptying the bottle she was either very thirsty, or she's very fond of strawberry milk. I'm willing to bet the latter, she seems like a strawberry person to me.

After finishing the bottle, Louise hands it off to me, mumbles another thing that could be anywhere between "thank you" and "piss off" and walks off. I start going in my own direction to accomplish my own means. And by going in my own direction I mean-

"Why are you following me?!" Louise turns around and yells at me.

"I'm not following you," I tell her. "I just need to go get something important, and the direction to that something happens to be similar to the path you're walking on."

"I don't believe you," Louise says, glaring at me.

"Why? Was it the whole 'I'm a chronic liar' thing from the first time we started talking?" I ask.

"Well who wouldn't be suspicious of you after a comment like that?" Louise asks.

"I'm never suspicious of anyone!" I proudly declare. "I believe that everyone always tells the truth!"

"Then you know I'm telling the truth when I tell you I don't want you anywhere near me," Louise says.

"Yep, that sounds like something you'd like," I reply.

"At least you understand," Louise seems satisfied as she turns to cross the street. Oh look at that, the little light thing on the other side of the street says "don't walk." I wonder what that means. Louise must not have seen it, because she's walking across the street anyway. Louise, I think the police can fine you for that! Oh yeah, and you're probably going to get run over by a car. Like that big truck that's driving down the street. Hey, he's honking his horn! I think he's trying to communicate. Let's see, "get out of the way you crazy-ass bitch!" Well that's just rude. Regardless, let's help some people out. I rush out into the street, grab Louise's arm and pull her out of the way just as the truck goes barreling down the street. Louise seems shocked at the near accident, so to make sure she doesn't just stay in the middle of the road I pull her to the other sidewalk.

"You're kind of crazy," I tell her. "When the sign says 'don't walk' it means don't walk. Or do you come from some weird place where red means go and stop means keep walking?"

"Th-that crazy driver!" Louise yells. "What kind of carriage can move that fast? Even the strongest horses can't run that fast. He must be trying to gain some speed with wind spells or something. If you're going to experiment with your magic like that, do it someplace where you won't hit someone!"

"… Hey, you're not from around here, are you?" I ask her.

"Clearly not," Louise says. "Everything's so backwoods here. Where can I speak to the nearest royal representative? Surely they can tell me how to get back to Tristain."

"… What city do you think you're in?" I ask her.

"Well clearly not Tristain," Louise says angrily.

"And what continent would that be on?" I ask.

"Halkegnia," Louise says. "Are you people so unevolved that you don't even have the most basic concept of the world?"

"Oooooh, okay then," I say. "We have quite a bit to talk about. Would you kindly come with me for a bit, we need to have a chat."

"I suppose I do owe you for keeping that mad driver from running me down," Louise says. "Lead the way."

I lead Louise back to the park and find a bench for us to sit on and have our conversation. You know, out of everyone who could have figure it out, I probably should have figured it out a little earlier, all things considered. Well, I figured it out now, so let's just fill her in.

"Okay, so… where to begin," I say. "You are currently on Planet Earth, Continent Asia, country Japan."

"… None of the words that came out of your mouth meant anything to me," Louise replies.

"Okay, um… see, you are not from here," I tell her.

"Did you bring me here so you could tell me things I already knew?" Louise asks, sounding displeased.

"No I mean… Well, tact is for suckers," I say. "You are not on your world at the moment."

"… What?" she says.

"Okay, from what I can gather you're form some place called Halkegnia which has a nobility system and magic, considering you mentioned both of those," I say. "Neither of those exist anywhere on this planet."

"… What?" she repeats.

"Also, you didn't know what cars were or how vending machines work, and you want to talk with a royal representative which does not exist here," I say. "Those might exist somewhere on Earth, but I don't think monarchies are very prevalent on Earth."

"Wait, wait, back up. What are you even trying to say?" Louise asks.

"Think for a bit, okay?" I ask. "What's the last thing you remember before you woke up in this city?"

"I was performing the familiar summoning ritual that all second year students at the Tristain of Academy of Magic perform," Louise tells me. "I cast the spell and pulled off the ritual flawlessly, but for some reason I blacked out. I did lose a few nights of sleep studying for the ritual so I assume that has something to do with it. Once I woke up I was in this backwoods city."

"Wow, you failed so badly you sent yourself to a completely different world," I say.

"I am not a failure!" Louise exclaims. Not really at me, just at the world in general. "And what's with that stupid conclusion? The summoning spell can barely reach across a continent, you expect me to believe that it can reach to a completely different world and send me there? What a foolish thou- what is that?"

I was holding a smart phone I picked up a little big ago. I was holding it with the screen facing Louise. She was mesmerized by the screen and bright colors. While she was distracted I quickly turned the phone around, pressed a few buttons and took a photo of Louise. She yelped when the flash came on (I suppose she wouldn't really know what that is), but quickly forgot to be afraid once I showed her the picture I took of her.

"Wh-why am I in that little box?!" Louise asks. "What did you just do to me?!"

"I took a photo," I tell her. "It's like a drawing, but done instantly."

"I-Impossible!" Louise says. "No matter how good of an artist you are it would take weeks to make a painting or drawing that detailed!"

"Well photos are better than that," I tell her. "Here, another one."

I take another photo and Louise once again yelps when the flash comes on.

"Nah, another photo won't prove anything. It came out nice though, here you go," I say as I briefly show her the photo. "Anyway, how about a book? Thanks to the glory of the internet and pirated media I have thousands of books at my fingertips."

"T-thousands?!" Louise asks. "A-A thousand books in such a small box? What kind of magic does it use?"

"It's not magic," I tell her. "We don't have magic here."

"That's impossible, magic is a fundamental part of the world!" Louise says.

"Of your world," I correct. "This isn't your world."

"Bu-but that's… That can't be…"

I don't think Louise quite believes it, but it seems she's starting to put the pieces together a bit. I give her another five minutes before she breaks down in existential horror when she realizes she'll never see her friends, family or home ever again and she's doomed to die alone in a world she doesn't know. Sucks to be a strawberry, doesn't it?

"Another world?" Louise says to herself. "That's impossible. No such thing could possibly… It can't…"

"Hey Strawberry, you okay?" I ask.

"I can't be on another world," Louise says. "I was supposed to summon an awesome familiar and show everyone up, not come here. No no no, that can't… Oh founder."

I think I broke her. Oops. Maybe I should have broken it to her a little more gently.

"Hey, Strawberry," I try again.

"W-what?" Louise asks, still shaken up from the revelation.

"You don't exactly have anywhere to stay, do you?" I ask.

"Apparently not," Louise says. "Because apparently I'm stuck on some founder-forsaken bit of a planet."

"Feel like staying at my house?" I ask.

"Excuse me?" Louise asks.

"I live alone, so I've got plenty of room for you," I tell her. "I wouldn't even charge rent!"

"Do I really have a choice?" Louise asks.

"Of course you do!" I say. "You can get a room at a hotel using the money I don't really think you have or you can sleep on the street! The street is a little cool at night, so I don't know if I'd recommend it."

Louise sighs.

"Fine, fine. You'd better be grateful, there aren't many nobles who would be as lenient with commoners as I'm being," Louise tells me.

"I'm completely sure of that," I tell her. "Come along Strawberry."

"My name's Louise!" she yells at me. "Why should I bother spending any of my time near you when you won't even bother to learn my name?"

"Have a deal. If you can remember my name, I'll start calling you by your name," I tell her.

"That's not even a problem… Um… Started with an 'A,'" Louise says.

"Alex," I help her out.

"Right, that was it!" Louise says. "Wait. Dang it, I lost!"

"Good thing too, I'm awful with names!" I say. "I'd forget my own name if I didn't have anyone to say it to me, so I'm grateful to have you around."

"So um… I'll be honest, I can't tell," Louise says. "Is that short for Alexander or Alexandra?"

"Yes, it is," I respond with a smile.

"… Which one?" Louise asks.

"I don't know," I say with a shrug. "I was this close to forgetting my name. I'm awful at names, remember?"

"I feel like I've made an awful mistake," Louise says.

"You sure did!" I confirm. "I never would have chosen Earth as the planet I'd visit. We're a really boring bunch of people."


	2. Arrival at Zero Hour Part 2

**Author Notes:**

So this chapter we learned a bit about Alex, and met a new character! So, regarding Alex, we learned that she's a treasure hunter and that he had a roommate. If you're wondering, the roommates name was Elise. Of course she's dead now so she doesn't matter. More importantly, Alex is a treasure hunter. Yep, that's her profession and he's pretty good at it. It's fun to do and pays the bills, what could be better? Oh yeah, if you're wondering why I was being a little coy with whether Alex is a boy or girl, it's because I don't really know myself. Alex as a character had a pretty interesting creation. See there's another story I'm writing currently, a Shakugan no Shana story called Dying Embers. Originally the main character of that story was a guy named Alex and there was all sorts of stuff about him. Alex was replaced with Eve for that story, and the character design was sort of locked away until it returned for this story. With a few changes, such as the ponytail and a few personality traits. I started working on some other stuff and once I eventually got back to this story, I had long since forgotten if it was supposed to be Alexander or Alexandra. As such, I stopped caring and Alex is now whatever you want him/her to be.

As for Gideon, he always existed as is, but I came up with his name right when he showed up in this chapter. I always had him in, I just never actually bothered to give him a name. Gideon is as good a name as any, and so he was given a name. He'll be showing up later in the story, so we'll learn more later. Probably.

Well, that's about it for this chapter. See you next time!

**Arrival at Zero Hour part 2**

I led Louise back to my house… Well, I suppose it's not really my house. I live there, sure, but I don't remember paying anything like rent or things that normal people pay to live where they live. Of course I never payed for the house, my roommate did that! I suppose if you were to call it anyone's house you would say it's hers, but she doesn't live here anymore. I get all the benefit of having a house and none of the negatives like getting kicked out because I don't have any money! What a great deal!

"So you live here?" Louise asks.

"For now," I reply. "I move around a lot, but for now I'm here in Japan."

"Japan," Louise carefully inspects the word. "You said that's the name of the county I'm in?"

"Exactly! I forgot the name of the city, but I know everything else!" I declare.

"You don't even know what city you're living in?" Louise asks. "How long have you lived here, exactly?"

"Um… not very long," I tell her. "My sense of time went bye-bye a long time ago. But I know all I need to about this city to give you a proper tour!"

"Tour?" Louise asks. "What do you mean by that?"

"Well, you're not exactly going to be exploring the world, are you?" I ask. "I'd gain a lot of respect for you if your first reaction to being a new world is to explore all of it, but I wouldn't recommend it. I mean, I've been around for a suuuuper long time and I don't know anything about the world! It's like every time I wake up the world's gone all screwy. It kind of weirds me out, to be honest. It's like I'm missing huge parts of history because I'm too busy sleeping."

"… Right," Louise doesn't seem amused. "Back to the house for a minute. If there aren't any nobles or commoners in this world, are houses like this normal?"

I touch my index finger to my cheek and start thinking. Well, my house is kind of small, I think. I don't know many rich people though, so I don't know what I would consider above average.

"I think it's about average, though it's more than someone in my profession deserves," I finally decide on. "I've been thinking of expanding the house a bit, making it a bit larger. Once I get my first big score, I can start working on it."

"Big score?" Louise asks. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's my job!" I say. "I'm the world's greatest treasure hunter! I track down all sorts of useless and pointless knick knacks and bobbles! I haven't found anything in a few years though, so I've been in a bit of a bind."

"You've been working for years?" Louise asks, sounding rather shocked.

"Is that a big revelation?" I ask.

"Just how old are you?" she asks. "You look like you can't be any older than I am."

"I can assure you, I'm a quite a bit older than twelve," I say with a smile. That comment earns me a slap.

"I am not twelve!" Louise yells at me. "I'm sixteen! Sixteen!"

"… No you're not," I say. "It's not nice to lie about your age."

"I'm not lying!" Louise keeps yelling.

"Well, I shouldn't be surprised," I say. "I've known a lot of people who are older than they look. Like my previous roommate! She looked nine or ten, but she was eighteen. Age was a very touchy topic for her."

"You've had other people stay here?" Louise asks. "Any particular reason they aren't here any more? Perhaps they got fed up with dealing with you and left?"

"Oh no, she died!" I say cheerfully.

"E-excuse me?" Louise responds.

"Yep!" I tell her. "She got killed some time ago, and I've been living on my own since then."

"I-I'm so sorry, I didn't know," Louise says. "I'm sorry for bringing it up."

"Oh, don't worry about it!" I assure her. "It's been a while since she left, I'm not too broken up about it. Perhaps we can change the subject?"

"Right, o-of course," Louise says. She starts thinking about where to take the conversation.

Well there are plenty of places to go with it. We could talk about the weather, we could talk about animals, we could talk about what Louise's world was like. There are plenty of fun worlds! I haven't been to another world since… well, I've never personally gone to another world. I've known people who come from other worlds, but I've never been to one. … Well, they said they're from another world. I don't exactly have a way to prove it, but why would they lie about something like that? Sure, anyone can say they're from another world, but proving it is really hard. I understand. When you're from another world you usually aren't preparing to go on an intergalactic trip so you don't exactly prepare anything. Darn shame, I'd love to see some awesome other worldly treasures. I could probably make some good money on them! Oh, if Louise had some awesome magical artifact, I know a local pawn shop that would pay such a mint for it! Aw, that'd be amazing!

"You okay?" Louise asks me. "You spaced out again."

"So do you have anything I could sell?" I ask. "W-wait, no, not what I meant!"

"I'd certainly hope not!" Louise says. "I suppose the question you meant to ask was 'do you have anything interesting from your world?'"

"Yes!" I say. "That was it exactly!"

"Well, sorry to disappoint, but I wasn't exactly prepared to be taken out of my world," Louise says.

"I wasn't expecting you to be," I reply. "No one ever is."

"All I've got is my wand, and my good luck charm," Louise says, pulling both artifacts out of her pocket and showing them to me.

The wand looked like a stick. I pluck the stick from her grasp and carefully examine it. … Yup. It's a stick. I look at it from this end, it looks like a stick. I look at it from this other end, it looks like a stick. Pretty good wood, I'll say that. Where do you get the wood you need to make a wand? Is it rare? Is it expensive? Are there farms that exist for the soul purpose of growing trees to make wands? How intriguing.

"Alex, it's a stick," Louise tells me. "Magic wand or not, it's just a twig used to channel magic, there isn't anything very special about that one."

"Ah, that's disappointing," I say, giving the wand back to her.

Having examined the wand, I examine her "good luck charm." It looked like a small, golden marble. It was about the same size, just a little big bigger than the average marble, and it looked like it was made completely out of gold. Oh, what a fancy little trinket we have here.

"Where'd you pick up something like that?" I ask. "It doesn't look like something you would just buy in any old pawn shop."

"It isn't," Louise confirms. "It was my grandmother's good luck charm, and she passed it down to my mother, who gave it to me."

Passed down, huh? It seems like they really took good care of it. That's really nice of them. Has it really brought them good luck?

"Has it brought you a lot of good luck?" I ask, since I might as well confirm.

"… So far no, but it hasn't brought me any bad luck either," Louise says.

"And that's all that matters!" I say.

"I suppose so," Louise agrees. "Here's something I've been meaning to ask. You only have one bed, right?"

"That is correct!" I say. "My roommate never had much money, so we couldn't afford any other beds."

"Right, so where am I supposed to sleep?" she asks.

"Oh, that's easy! You sleep up on the roof while I stay warm and comfortable in my bed!" I tell her.

"Excuse me?!" Louise exclaims. "You would leave a poor, lost girl to sleep on the roof, out in the cold?"

"Of course not, I'd give you a blanket," I tell her. "Is the roof not a good place to sleep?"

"Of course not!"

"But I've slept out there multiple times!" I insist. "It's summertime, so it's very nice out these days!"

"I'm not sleeping out on the roof!" Louise insists right back.

"So we're both using the bed?" I ask.

"Well…" Louise seems unsure. "I suppose it wouldn't be an awful idea. We're both girls after all so it shouldn't be that much of an issue."

"You think I'm a girl?" I ask.

"… Are you telling me you're a boy?" Louise asks.

"I didn't say that, I was just noting how weird it is. Most of the people I talk to automatically assume I'm a girl, and I don't know why. I mean sure, my hair's sort of long and ponytails certainly are a rather feminine hairstyle. I don't have a feminine body in the least, though! Look, I don't think I have curves. Well, certainly no hips. I mean, if I turn like this and puff out like this then it kind of looks like I have a somewhat noticeable chest, though if I were to wear something a bit baggier no one would probably notice. I could probably chalk that up to genetics or something though. I've been told I have a pretty feminine face, but then I've met some other people who have said that I've got a somewhat masculine build, or at least that my arms and legs aren't super, super feminine. I don't know, I don't really know enough about male and female bodies to accurately rate where I fall on the scale. And if we're just going to go on my hairstyle, I just keep it like this because I like it. Ponytails are very low maintenance. At least, mine is. I've never met enough people with ponytails to ask."

"Wait… So, you didn't really answer my question," Louise says. "Are you a boy or a girl?"

"Yes, I am," I tell her.

Louise isn't amused by my answer.

"Whatever," Louise says. "I'll take the bed. It's better than the roof."

"Yay! And tomorrow I'll take you on a tour of the town so you know where you are. That sound okay?"

"Sure, sounds fine," Louise says. "Whatever allows me to just go to sleep now."

But it's not even that late out! I was only searching around the for a few hours at most, so it's no where near the time that people usually go to sleep. Well, some people have really weird sleeping schedules, so it wouldn't be that odd. … Wait, it's pitch black out. Why is it pitch black out? It's, like, 10 o'clock. I reach into my pocket, pull out my watch and look at the time. Yeah, it's not even eleven yet! … Oooooh, I misread the mark. It's almost eleven PM and not eleven AM. How did I not notice, it's super dark outside. I guess I was so caught up in my treasure hunt I lost track of time. That happens a lot. Normally it means I was just so caught up in searching for something shiny that caught my eye and then BOOP, it's three days later and I'm collapsing because I haven't eaten. That's usually a problem. Only sometimes a problem, sometimes I get to just keep running on and I get a nice prize at the end. Sometimes it's lame, but whatever. That's the problem with being a treasure hunter, not everything is worth something. I mean, Louise's good luck charm is worth quite a bit, but I obviously can't sell that. Oh, whatever. I'll just work on touring Louise around tomorrow.

*Scene Break*

"Okay, Alex's Amazing Tour Service is now leaving!" I declare. "Do the tourists who are with us have any questions?"

"Far too many, but none that you could answer," Louise says.

"Awesome! Alright, let's go!" I say, motioning for Louise to start following me. "Aaaaaand, stop! Here we are at our first tour stop, my house!"

"I've already been here, you idiot!" Louise yells at me.

"… Oh yeah, you have. … Next tour stop!"

"Is that it?!" Louise exclaims.

I start leading Louise throughout the town.

"This is the park! People come here to relax sometimes."

"We were here yesterday, I'm aware that there's a park in this city!" Louise exclaims again.

"Then what's the point of going on a tour if you already know everything about this place?!" I ask.

"I don't know anything about the city, you just keep taking me to places I do know!" Louise tells me.

"No matter!" I say. "Come along, Strawberry."

"I'm not a strawberry," Louise grumbles.

So, having been through the park that a lot of people go through, I decide to take Louise to another place that a lot of people go to. It's a pretty popular tourist spot, though I don't really know why.

"Here we are, the famous North High!" I say.

"It's just a school," Louise notes.

"Indeed! It's a very popular tourist destination," I tell her.

"Why? It's a school," Louise says. "Why would anyone actually want to go to a school?"

"I dunno, I think someone really famous went there before," I offer. "I just know that it is a pretty popular place, I don't know why it's pretty popular."

"I don't get it," Louise says.

"I don't either," I agree. "Pretty good school though, from what I hear. I don't spend a lot of time in school, so I don't know what makes a good one."

"Uh huh," Louise says. "So, any good cafes or other food places? I didn't have a very large breakfast."

"I'd be worried if you did, considering I don't really have much food on offer," I say. "I buy what I need, and thus, need what I buy! Well, I don't always need what I buy, but I buy it anyway because I'd like to get it. I mean, when you're as successful a treasure hunter as I am, you can afford to buy a few extra bags of chips!"

"Did you only buy an extra bag of chips because it was all you could buy?" Louise asks.

"Yep! But it's okay, because I like chips!" I say. "Since you brought up food, let's go! I know a great place."

"That sounds good," Louise says.

Luckily the place I was thinking of was near the school. As such, it was a pretty popular place for students to meat up. Since neither me nor Louise were students, we kind of stood out as a result. Oh well, food is food and paying customers are paying customers. I ordered a coffee, and helped Louise order some tea and a ham sandwich. Apparently since she was from another world she had trouble with our language. I don't blame her, even I don't know what I'm reading half the time.

"This world is so weird," Louise says.

"Yep," I agree. I was going to say more when I saw someone I recognize over in another seat. "… Give me a second Louise, I need to go talk to someone."

"H-hey wait, where you going?" Louise asks as I get up and leave.

I walk over to that man and take a seat across form him. He didn't look very old, probably in his late twenties. Don't let that fool you, he's probably close to his fifties or sixties and he just takes good care of his skin. He had short black hair and he was wearing a nice black suit. I'd tell you the color of his eyes, but he thought that wearing sunglasses inside was a way of telling people you were super cool. It's not cool. Sunglasses aren't cool. They keep the sun out of your eyes and that's it. They don't make you look any cooler or mysterious. If it's not sunny out, don't wear sunglasses. Don't. It's stupid.

"So, long time no see, Gideon" I say.

"What a pleasant surprise," Gideon says. "I hadn't expected to run into you here."

"And I wasn't exactly expecting you to be chilling in this cafe," I tell him. "Do you have business in this town?"

"Perhaps," he says. "I don't see why it would be any of your business."

"If it's your business, than it's my business," I tell him. "That's kind of how our industry works."

"I suppose you are correct," he says. "And you already know what my business is. After all, you're here looking for the exact same thing, aren't you?"

"Same thing but for different reasons," I admit. "Than I suppose we'll be competing again."

"Indeed," he says. "I do hope that things go better for you this time. I truly am sorry about your friend."

"No you're not," I say. "Good bye, Gideon. I look forward to working against you."

"The same to you," he says. "May the best hunter win."

"I probably will, thank you very much," I thank him. I leave the seat and head back to the chair Louise was at. Luckily our drinks and Louise's food had arrived.

"So who was that?" Louise asks me. "Old friend?"

"An old treasure hunting rival," I correct. "We met a while ago when we were trying to go after the same treasure. He's a dick, I hate him."

"O-okay then," Louise seems surprised. "I didn't know you could hate someone. You don't seem like the type of person to hold a grudge."

"I'm not, but he's done a lot of very annoying things," I say. "I'm really not a huge fan of him and the less I get to see him the better. Oh, but that's serious stuff. Let's talk about some other fun stuff!"

Lousie didn't seem certain, but eventually she decided to simply move on and we started talking about other topics that didn't have to do with my arch-nemesis.


	3. A Young Girl's Melancholy part 1

**A Young Girl's Melancholy Part 1**

"Aah, that was pretty good!" I said as me and Louise left the cafe and started walking down the street. "Alright, where to, next?"

"Aren't you the tour guide?" Louise asks me. "Shouldn't you be telling me where to go?"

"Should I?" I ask. "I dunno, that seems rude to just yell at people where to go."

"You were doing that five minutes ago!" Louise yells at me.

"... Nope, don't recall," I say. "Irregardless! Okay, let's check where to go next."

I take off my backpack, unzip it and start riffling through it. I like this backpack. It holds all sorts of useful stuff! Like my compass, a map, sometimes I store my watch in here, my sword, my thermos for when I get thirsty-

"Two questions," Louise says before I can pull anything out. "One, where'd you get that backpack?"

"My roommate," I answer. "It was hers, but she didn't need it so she gave it to me! She was nice like that."

"No, not that," Louise says. "I mean where'd it come from, you definitely didn't have that when you left the house."

"Yes I did," I tell her.

"No you didn't, you didn't have anything!" Louise says. "You just walked out of the house and now you've got a backpack? What, are you a thief in addition to being a liar?"

"I'm not either!" I exclaim, before pausing to think. I mean, I think I've lied before, but never on purpose. Does it make you a liar if you never lie on purpose? Ah man, that's a sobering thought. I don't want to be a liar! I always try to tell the truth, I'm sorry if I lie! The thief part is lot harder to defend. I mean, I'm a treasure hunter, not a thief! There is a distinction, though I suppose they both involve taking things from people. I mean, I guess that by definition makes a treasure hunter a thief. But I usually only take treasure from people who aren't around anymore! Wait, that's grave robbing. I guess that's a lot worse than just being a thief. Oh man, I really am a thief and a liar.

"H-hey, are you alright?" Louise asks me. "You spaced out and now you're just poking some dirt with a stick."

"Don't mind me," I tell her. "I'm just a no good, lying thief. Pay me no heed, I don't deserve it."

"..." Louise seems unsure of how to react. "I... I guess I was wrong, I must have just missed you bringing the backpack with you."

"Really?" I ask.

"Really," Louise says. "You're... Probably not a thief. Can I ask my second question then?"

"I suppose," I tell her.

"How are you managing to fit a sword inside your backpack?" Louise asks.

"Oh!" I exclaim as I spring to my feet. I pull the sword out of my backpack and point it to the sky. "Behold, the magnificent blade of holy justice, Last Judgement!"

"Your mood turned around quickly," Louise notes.

"A most holy sword, forged from materials long since forgotten," I ignore her. "A blade so sharp it can cut through time and space itself! A handle so golden, the smallest amount of light reflecting off of it could light up a darkened cave! Materials so mysterious and powerful, the sword itself has gained awareness of it's surroundings!"

"I'm not a blacksmith, but even I can tell you that none of that is how a sword works," Louise says. "Why do you carry a sword in your backpack?"

...

"Yeah, you tell her, Last Judgement!" I say.

"Excuse me?" Louise asks.

"Last Judgement was asking why you _wouldn't_ carry a sword with you," I translate. "It always helps to be armed with something to defend yourself."

"I know that," Louise replies. "Nobles carry their wands, and commoners carry a sword or dagger to protect themselves. That's in my world though, is your world dangerous enough that you need t- wait, did you just say the sword was talking?"

...

"Last Judgement, that's not very nice!" I scold her.

...

"It's okay, as long as you're sorry," I say with a smile.

"Alex, you're talking to a sword," Louise says.

"Yes, and?"

"… Alex, swords can't talk," Louise tells me.

"What are you talking about, Last Judgement can totally talk!" I reply.

...

"Yeah, remember?" I ask Louise.

"Remember what?" Louise asks.

"My introduction!" I say. "Blade cuts space-time, handle lights caves, materials give awareness. If Last Judgement wasn't aware of her surroundings, why wouldn't she be able to talk about them?"

"... But swords can't talk," Louise says. "Even if they could, your sword is very clearly not talking! It's not even moving or doing anything that would suggest it _could_ talk! What, are you going to try and convince me that it's speaking directly to your mind?"

...

"Oh, that is a good point," I say.

...

"I can do that!" I say with a grin, before turning to Louise. "Okay, Last Judgement said that just because you can't understand her doesn't mean she isn't talking."

"It's not like the sword's speaking a different language, it isn't making any noise at all," Louise says. "Nothing the sword is doing could in any way be taken as someone talking. At all."

"Oh please," I say. "There's tons of way to communicate beyond talking! Like writing a letter, winking at someone, hugging someone, beating the crap out of someone, the list is endless!"

"I feel like that last one was a bit different than the others," Louise says.

"Like look at this!" I say as I give Last Judgement a few good swings. "Ha! Ha! Hoooah! See? Communication!"

"Alex, what are you doing?!" Louise hisses at me. "Don't swing a sword around in a public area, you could hit someone!"

"Oh come on, Last Judgement would let me know if I was about to hit anyone I'm not supposed to!"

..!

"W-woah!"

"Watch out!" Louise yells.

*thud*

"Oh, that could have been bad," I admit.

So what just happened was that both me and the person who just walked by weren't paying attention, so that person nearly walked into my swing, and I almost didn't catch Last Judgement's warning. Luckily I was able to slow down Last Judgement at the last second which allowed the passerby to fall back and land on their butt, dodging the blade. Whew, that could have been messy!

"You mind watching where you're swinging that thing?" The passerby asks from her place on the ground.

"I was! ... Just, not carefully enough," I admit.

"See Alex, that's what I was saying!" Louise says. "You nearly took her head off! Here, let me help you up."

The passerby had a pretty face too, so that would have been a shame. She looked young, maybe Louise's age (though whether that meant Louise's apparent age or her actual age I wasn't certain yet), and was similarly built. Kind of short, petite, and flatter than a cutting board. Unlike Louise and her bright pink hair and eyes, the passerby had brown hair and eyes, with her hair pulled back in a ponytail. Hey, we have the same hairstyle! Ponytail siblings! Woooo! I love meeting people with ponytails. It's nice knowing there are other people out there who love this low maintenance hairstyle as much as I do. Also unlike Louise, the passerby had a much more normal sense of fashion. Louise wore some weird school uniform and cape, while the passerby was wearing a black t-shirt, a jacket and jeans. Much more normal!

"It's no problem," the passerby says as Louise pulls her up. "Really, that was kind of my fault for almost walking into your boyfriend's prop."

"Alex isn't my boyfriend," Louise denies.

"You think I'm a boy?" I ask the passerby.

"... So girlfriend then?" she asks. "I'm not here to judge."

"Wrong again!" Louise says. "Alex is just touring me around the city because... Well I guess I can say I'm new here."

"Besides, I don't know if I could ever be someone's girlfriend," I say. "I don't think I fit the criteria."

"Are you saying you're a boy?" the passerby asks. "That's kind of what I figured at first."

"I'm not saying that, I was talking about the fact that I'm not in one place very often, so I'd never be able to actually settle down with anyone, because I'm never settling down! It's way too boring like that, where's the fun in treasure hunting if you're not going all over the world! You can't have fun, be in a relationship and see the world, it doesn't work that way!"

"You didn't answer the question," the passerby notes.

"She won't, trust me," Louise says.

"What are you doing swing around a prop like that anyway?" the passerby asks. "Trying to fight off Celestials, and the closed space disappeared before you were done?"

"Last Judgement isn't a prop!" I exclaim. "She's a most holy sword, forged from materials long forgotten! A blade so sharp it can cut through time and space itself! A handle so golden, the smallest amount of light reflecting off of it could light up a darkened cave! Materials so mysterious and powerful, the sword itself has gained awareness of it's surroundings!"

"Alex, you said all that already," Louise says.

"Oh, I did?" I pause. "Um... Passed down for generations-"

"So you're a... What's the word I'm looking for, chuuni?" The passerby asks, ignoring me.

"I'm not familiar with that word, does it mean idiot?" Louise asks.

"It's more like someone who's lost touch with reality."

"This sword that cut through the dreaded fires of the apocalypse and helped restore order and peace throughout the land countless times! That has-"

"Alex certainly lives in her own little world," Louise concedes. "Nice to meet someone more normal than her, my name is Louise."

"My name is..." the passerby hesitates. "Call me Kyonko, that's all that anyone calls me anymore."

"Pleasure to meet you Kyonko, I'm Alex!" I say. "It's short for Alexander or Alexandra, I can't remember which, I'm awful with names."

"How long have you known him?" Kyonko asks Louise.

"About a day."

"I'm so sorry for you," Kyonko says.

"Hey, it's not like I'm that much of a pain to be around!" I say.

"I mean, at least you're just an idiot and not a bully," Louise concedes.

"If I had to pick one or the other, I'd probably go for an idiot," Kyonko agrees.

"Yay, I'm preferable!" I cheer. "… Hey, Kyonko, how knowledge are you about this city?"

"I've lived here all my life, why do you ask?" Kyonko asks.

"Would you mind helping me on the tour?" I ask. "I haven't been in this city very long, and Louise just showed up yesterday. You have to know more than us, right? Therefore, you're the better tour guide! Thank you, I'm in your care tour guide Kyonko! Let's go!"

I grab Louise and Kyonko by their hand and drag them away.

"W-wait, I never agreed to this!" Kyonko yells at me.

"I want to go home," Louise says. "At least back home I knew what to expect."

"Life's more fun when you don't know anything about anything!" I say. "Ignorance is awesome!"

***Author Notes***

Right, so, apparently author notes should be at the end of the chapter to avoid spoilers. I always figured people would just skip the author notes, read the chapter and then come back, but we can do it this way.

Anyway, this chapter we hit our first minor derail. What, you thought this was just going to be a story about Louise having to adjust to the real world? Well for starters, bringing up that Alex is a treasure hunter isn't just a joke. That'll come into the story eventually. But we're not talking about that for a while. What we're supposed to talk about is Kyonko, whose appearance here shouldn't be a surprise. For those who aren't aware, Kyonko is a fanmade female version of the main character of _The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. _I think there's a whole story behind her existence, but this isn't the place to talk about it. If you ever visited my profile on this site you'll see I have a list of all the stories I plan to write, and the summary for this story explicitly mentions Kyonko showing up. The North High reference last chapter was also a bit of a hint. "But wait, if Kyonko is in this, why aren't you labeling it a Haruhi crossover?" Well, there's a good reason for that. Two reasons actually. Firstly: It isn't a Haruhi crossover. Yes, Kyonko shows up, and it takes place in the same city, but that's as far as it goes. Alex and Louise are the main characters, Kyonko's just along for the ride. What's the second reason? …

Anyway, Louise sure took to Kyonko kind of quickly, didn't she? I was a bit worried about that, but I figured it made sense, considering Louise doesn't know anyone on Earth except for Alex, and I'm sure anyone would want someone else around them who wasn't kind of insane. That's kind of Kyonko's role in this story. Louise is an alien magician, and Alex is… Alex, so Kyonko's the normal one.

Speaking of Kyonko, usually she's just referred too as Kyon, considering she usually replaces Kyon and "Kyon" is just a nickname anyway. Usually Kyonko is only explicitly called Kyonko when Kyon is also present in a story to differentiate them. No real reason for me to point this out, I just thought it was kind of interesting.

Speaking of interesting, I found a new way to organize this story! It was just an idea that came to me, but I figure I'd make each chapter part of an episode. Two chapters make an episode, an unknown amount of episodes'll make up the story. This allows me to think this story out two chapters at a time, instead of trying to plan the whole thing out at once. Last episode was the prologue which introduced Alex, Louise and Gideon and set everything into motion, This episode introduces Kyonko and adds her to the group.

Anyway, I've been talking a bit too much, I imagine. See you next chapter!


End file.
